Mother's Day

I approached the holiday this year with dread.

1. I manage to yell at my children most days.

2. A tired mom mixed with 2 belligerent, exhausted children every morning who have to be out the door by 7:35 (while being quiet enough to not wake the 2 year old) is like mixing baking soda and vinegar - someone's going to explode.

3. There have been weeks this year that I haven't even looked in their backpacks to see what homework has been assigned.

4. More often than not I am looking at the clock as they excitedly tell me every detail of the star wars lego battle they just had upstairs.

5. Amelia has had to hang on my arm and pull on my face while crying "Look at me, Mom!" while I am sending off emails.

Anyway - I have had many moments in the past year where I have fallen in bed and thought, "Nice going. That'll mess them up and leave them needing a psychotherapist when they're older."

So you can understand why I asked Mike to skip it this year. He didn't - being the husband he is, but it was all I could do this morning to accept gifts, a plethora of homemade cards, and songs made up and presented on the spot by Andrew. Even though it warmed my heart, I was still feeling guilt at not doing my best at the most important thing in my life.

A talk in church really helped adjust my perspective. It was a straightforward, no nonsense talk, devoid of anything sappy. He talked about a mother's responsibilities - including taking the necessary time out for ourselves, and to be ever watchful of becoming overwhelmed and discouraged and thinking that we are not doing a great job. It wasn't a feel good talk, it was like he held up my life in front of me and let me see it from an objective person's point of view, and then told me what I could do better. As I type this I realize that he was inspired in his presentation and content, but that the Spirit was obviously involved in creating this experience for me.

So I graciously accepted the flowers and chocolate they handed out afterward, and have felt cheery ever since. (Maybe the chocolate had something to do with that?) I still need to figure out how to once again prioritize my extremely full plate, and also to take out the time needed to rejuvenate myself spiritually and physically. I have been trying to "give" from exhausted reserves for some time now. It doesn't really work that way.

So Happy Mother's Day to myself. I am glad to be able to think that way again. And to everyone else out there who gives of themselves time and time again to those around you - whether they be your children or your neighbors. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it!