I'm sitting here late on a Friday afternoon. Thankfully the sun is shining and has warmed things up enough that the children have been outside since they arrived home from school. All I've done is read the newest National Geographic cover to cover while laying on Amelia's bed.
I am tired. Really tired. I could cry - not a sad cry, just a "we made it another week" cry. I am thinking of all the mothers out there who are feeling that way, maybe at this same moment. Of the kids out in my yard right now, all their mothers are experiencing trying times.
My neighbor across the street has been struggling to support her family as her husband frantically searched for a new job due to a lay-off. Thankfully he just found work, but it is more than an hour drive from home and she is learning to do more than she's ever had to do before as he is gone first thing in the morning and does not arrive until much later at night. She's tired. I can hear it in her voice and feel it when she comes to pick up my kids every morning to drive them to school before heading off to her full-time job.
I am watching two other boys this afternoon as their exhausted mom tries to cram last minute bookeeping tasks before the end of the month. She is doing all she can to help support her husband and their beautiful family.
Another friend just drove up minutes ago in a rush to get her daughter and get to a soccer training. She thanked me for picking up her kids from school today as she had only had 5 hours of sleep. She mentioned with a sigh that her husband would be working all weekend. She's trying to help pay the mortgage by working the night shift for a cable company.
And I am now divorced. I've got all sorts of things I am trying to figure out. How can I stretch myself farther? How can I make things run more efficiently? What can we get rid of so we don't have so much to clean up all the time? (:
I'm not here to complain. Far from it. Mike has actually continued to be a great support. I am just surrounded by this wonderment of women. Who we are. What we do. Why we do it. I think of the four of us neighbors. We watch each others kids, we feed them dinner when we know their mom just needs to put her feet up, we take turns picking up kids from school, we go on a late night walk together, we drop off the occasional flower bouquet or birthday card or cheer up card, we give hugs, we don't ask "how are you?" when we know it's best to leave it alone. We don't even notice if we walk into each others houses and it looks like a bomb just went off. Sometimes we commiserate, lots of times we laugh. Lots of times none of these things happen, but we know that if we ask, they will come.
It's made me remember that wonderful 3 years we lived in Michigan. I will forever hold dear to my heart the wonderful friends I made while there. We had each others back. No matter what. We lived in family housing which consisted of groups of townhomes that all faced inward surrounding a courtyard. In my courtyard we had huge trees, grassy areas, picnic tables, a sand box and a playground. Everyone's kitchen window opened out onto that courtyard. I could stand there washing all my dishes while my baby slept and see my 3 year old run around and play with the other kids and know that all the moms out there had their eye on him. And then two hours later I might be the one out there watching their kids. We swapped ideas for dinner, pushed each others kids for hours in the swings, encouraged each other when we were feeling loaded down while our husband was busy studying for finals, helped the newcomers learn English, looked to one another for help with parenting, shared our thoughts on God.
A woman has so many responsibilities. So many. We see everything that needs to get done, and then all those extra things that we think should be done as well. It can be overwhelming sometimes, but we just keep going. Just keep doing. Just keep loving, and wiping, and washing, and teaching, and sighing, and crying, and yelling, and hugging, and encouraging, and taking deep breaths, and remembering how much it is all worth it.
I am so proud of all women. Ours is a tough gig. I really am so grateful to all the women who support me and, in turn, my family. Ours is a bond of sisterhood. May we have cheerful hearts and allow our load to be lightened.
