Friday, January 27, 2012

Women

I'm sitting here late on a Friday afternoon.  Thankfully the sun is shining and has warmed things up enough that the children have been outside since they arrived home from school.  All I've done is read the newest National Geographic cover to cover while laying on Amelia's bed.

I am tired.  Really tired.  I could cry - not a sad cry, just a "we made it another week" cry.  I am thinking of all the mothers out there who are feeling that way, maybe at this same moment.  Of the kids out in my yard right now, all their mothers are experiencing trying times.

My neighbor across the street has been struggling to support her family as her husband frantically searched for a new job due to a lay-off.  Thankfully he just found work, but it is more than an hour drive from home and she is learning to do more than she's ever had to do before as he is gone first thing in the morning and does not arrive until much later at night.  She's tired.  I can hear it in her voice and feel it when she comes to pick up my kids every morning to drive them to school before heading off to her full-time job.

I am watching two other boys this afternoon as their exhausted mom tries to cram last minute bookeeping tasks before the end of the month.  She is doing all she can to help support her husband and their beautiful family.

Another friend just drove up minutes ago in a rush to get her daughter and get to a soccer training.  She thanked me for picking up her kids from school today as she had only had 5 hours of sleep.  She mentioned with a sigh that her husband would be working all weekend.  She's trying to help pay the mortgage by working the night shift for a cable company.

And I am now divorced.  I've got all sorts of things I am trying to figure out.  How can I stretch myself farther?  How can I make things run more efficiently?  What can we get rid of so we don't have so much to clean up all the time? (:

I'm not here to complain.  Far from it.  Mike has actually continued to be a great support.  I am just surrounded by this wonderment of women.  Who we are.  What we do.  Why we do it.  I think of the four of us neighbors.  We watch each others kids, we feed them dinner when we know their mom just needs to put her feet up, we take turns picking up kids from school, we go on a late night walk together, we drop off the occasional flower bouquet or birthday card or cheer up card, we give hugs, we don't ask "how are you?" when we know it's best to leave it alone.  We don't even notice if we walk into each others houses and it looks like a bomb just went off.  Sometimes we commiserate, lots of times we laugh. Lots of times none of these things happen, but we know that if we ask, they will come.

It's made me remember that wonderful 3 years we lived in Michigan.  I will forever hold dear to my heart the wonderful friends I made while there.  We had each others back.  No matter what.  We lived in family housing which consisted of groups of townhomes that all faced inward surrounding a courtyard.  In my courtyard we had huge trees, grassy areas, picnic tables, a sand box and a playground.  Everyone's kitchen window opened out onto that courtyard.  I could stand there washing all my dishes while my baby slept and see my 3 year old run around and play with the other kids and know that all the moms out there had their eye on him.  And then two hours later I might be the one out there watching their kids.  We swapped ideas for dinner, pushed each others kids for hours in the swings, encouraged each other when we were feeling loaded down while our husband was busy studying for finals, helped the newcomers learn English, looked to one another for help with parenting, shared our thoughts on God.

A woman has so many responsibilities.  So many.  We see everything that needs to get done, and then all those extra things that we think should be done as well.  It can be overwhelming sometimes, but we just keep going.  Just keep doing.  Just keep loving, and wiping, and washing, and teaching, and sighing, and crying, and yelling, and hugging, and encouraging, and taking deep breaths, and remembering how much it is all worth it.

I am so proud of all women.  Ours is a tough gig.  I really am so grateful to all the women who support me and, in turn, my family.  Ours is a bond of sisterhood.  May we have cheerful hearts and allow our load to be lightened.







14 comments:

Dad / Grandpa Thomason said...

What a wonderful and insightful post. It is so true. Your responsibilities and selfless service are incredible. I loved your final words of encouragement. It just so happens that I will be using the following passages of scripture in the talk I will be giving tonight at the adult session of stake conference.


And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
And I will also ease the aburdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as bwitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their cafflictions.
And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did astrengthen them that they could bear up their bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with cpatience to all the will of the Lord.

You are a wonderful woman of great faith who knows what source to go to for strength, relief, and comfort. Love you.

Lindsay said...

I am so grateful for the women in my life. I'm grateful to be a woman. I'm grateful I have a friend like you. I'm grateful you're my sister who braves new things and shows me the way. I'm grateful for my friends who carry me through by laughing and understanding with me. Such a wonderful thing to think about. Thank you! Have a wonderful weekend!! Love you!

Guynns said...

I love you cheri. Thank you for the great post.

G-PA said...

Remember the little train. Life is like that. With love and understanding we seam to get through it.
And we all all Love you very much!!!!

Teija said...

Thinking of you in your struggles, I love you! Thank you always for your words of inspiration! You are a great woman!

Polliwog said...

Cheri, this is a lovely post and one I needed today. I have always been the beneficiary of your faith and gentle strength and here it is again. And I'm assuming that's your father who quoted the scriptures in the first comment--again, so beautiful. I needed it. We all need it, and your post is a good reminder to look outside of ourselves even when-especially when-life's challenges make us draw inward. Love you!!

Emily said...

I am so grateful for you Cheri! Sisterhood carries an oh so special bond. I have no doubt God blesses us with the people we need to help us bear the burdens placed upon our shoulders! You are an amazing woman and it was so good to talk the other night! xo
Love you,
Emily

PS I love this. The first time I saw it, I thought of you and my Michigan sisters! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bADUIepuyOE

Amy said...

hmm. I left a comment on here the other day... what happened to it?

Anyways, thanks for that. I think about you all the time. Love you Cheri.

p.s. I started singing "hush little baby" to ethan the other night and thought Cheri used to sing this to me. Did you?

Lindz said...

I have always admired you Cheri! You are so beautiful on the inside an out.

Cheri said...

All - I appreciate your kind words and encouragement.

Dad - thank you for the scripture references

And Amy - yes, I sang that song all the time, and now sing it to my children (and the little ones I watch) Love you!

Christina said...

Amen, Sister! Michigan was pretty amazing... and you were part of that for me!

I just attended an amazing women's conference, and the last speaker talked about the importance of having good girlfriends. Sometimes you have to reach out and really stretch yourself to find them, but if you need them, God will lead you to them.

After moving from MI, I moved into a ward where I felt completely alone. It was very hard. Then I met this women across from me. She wasn't in my ward. She's a single mom, works 2 jobs, whose youngest was about 9 years older than my oldest. So you'd think we wouldn't have a ton in common. But God knew we needed each other. I remember when I met her, the thought came that I wanted to be her friend. We have since adopted each other (seriously, my kids call her aunt), and although we don't live as close anymore, we still get together every other week because we need our therapy session. I pray you find someone like her in your life! Go girlfriends!

amydear said...

Cheri,
I can't believe you were reading my blog and offering to pray for me when you have been having so many of your own challenges. Thank you so much for being the kind of woman that other women need for a friend. I am sorry to hear about you and Mike, but I hope you both find happiness and peace and that your family weathers this change. You are amazing! And I am praying for you too.

Alissa said...

I realize that we're not super close but I am heartbroken for you. I had no idea of the struggles you were/are facing. My prayers are extended on your behalf this morning. My love to you.

Marianne said...

Cheri, thank you for this post. Really. I have always admired the way you would take whatever trial you had and find a way to use it to help someone else. Thank you for helping me today.

I was very sad to hear about you and Mike, and I want you to know how very much I love you. Some of my very favorite memories from high school include you and your sweet family! Please tell your dad how much I appreciate his insight and inspiration in referencing the scripture passage here.

Please come visit next time you're in Utah, if you can. xoxo