the Neighbor of the Year Award

goes to ...... (drum roll, please)

Mrs. Anderson !

Our next door neighbor has three small dogs. They all suffer from "little dog syndrome." You know, having something to prove to anything that moves. Or doesn't. (Contrary to popular belief, fences CAN be intimidated.)

Anyway, I loathe these dogs. They bark nonstop, push down the rotten boards in our fence and run around in my backyard. This often prevents my children from even playing back there. We've tried all sorts of tricks to dissuade them, but to no avail, and the people who live there are never home. I've spent far too much of my life moaning about them and scheming about how to get rid of them.

Today I had my chance.

Ding, dong! I opened the door to a good Samaritan who had found a poor lost puppy in the area and was wondering if I recognized it? She had tried calling the number on the tag and had gotten a disconnection message, had knocked on a number of doors, and was about ready to take it to the pound. It was the mangiest, most despicable one of the bunch.

The moment of truth had arrived....I hesitated....."It's my neighbor's dog," I heard my mouth say. "They're not home, but their gate is always unlocked. I'll walk over with you." With each step my head was screaming, "What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing? It'll probably be a week before they even miss the dog."

The gate clicked shut, the woman left with a flurry of heartfelt thank-yous, ("You know what happens to them at the pound! I just couldn't bear it! I have my own dog at home, and I know how happy I would be if someone returned him safely!"), and I went inside and plopped down on my couch with a resigned sigh. I could already hear the dog barking out back.

At least I've got a clean conscience, right?