A little poem the kids memorized yesterday. The content of the poem being my attempt at brainwashing....
But either way, they are pretty sweet.
(Each video is about 30 seconds long.)
Little Fred
When little Fred was called to bed
He always acted right.
He kissed Mama, and then Papa,
And wished them all goodnight.
He made no noise like naughty boys,
But gently up the stairs
Directly went when he was sent
And always said his prayers.
One evening a little birdie was found in the backyard with a broken wing.
Kids made a nest and put it in a shoe box along with a little bowl of water.
Very tender.
In the morning they discovered the birdie was flying in a new paradise.
Had a funeral.
Buried alongside graves of a caterpillar, a beetle, and something else I don't remember. Seems like it was a big something.
Oh - Jake said a prayer and then Andrew honored it's memory with a song. (I absolutely could not hold my laughter in while listening. Tried to say I was laughing about something else.) Let's just say the song was heartfelt.
Rest in peace.
As I looked out the window this evening after putting the kids to bed, I saw the familiar flashes of light start popping up here and there in the backyard. Excitement! Fireflies are back! That means summer really is here!
I was immediately overcome with the memory of the first time I saw fireflies. My family took a two week road trip when I was 15 or 16. We made a stop in Kansas and that evening we saw the scattered lights start appearing in a cornfield. It was thrilling - like in a way that those who live in the south may feel when they first see snow. Is this real? I've heard of it! I can't believe it!
And then when we first moved to Michigan I was so delighted to discover that I actually got to live where these fairytale-like creatures lived. What fun!
And now it is something my kids will grow up with. Lucky ducks.
And since we're talking about summer - let's talk about my fabulous garden. It really brings me such joy. We harvested our first zucchini the other day and had it for dinner. Mmmm. (Random Thought: Can I tell you I am so proud I spelled zucchini right the first time I typed it?! That is one weird word.)
Amelia is my helper and she takes her role seriously. In fact, the other day we were reading The Tale of Peter Rabbit. There was a picture showing Mr. MacGregor in his garden. Amelia pointed to the picture and said, "Oh no! Where is his little girl to help him?" So adorable.
And here are some pictures of the garden. When I came in to record on my little chart how many we harvested, I realized it was exactly 30 days after planting. Does that seem crazy to you? I am always amazed at how quickly the garden grows.
One of my dear grandmothers passed away a little bit ago. My family had moved away when I was 14, and then I grew up and moved even farther away and got swept up in my life and my little ones and what I was doing. And then she was gone. Quickly. I had a wake up call. Life really is short. I've had a lot of aching moments thinking of times that I would think of her and decide to call her to chat - and then something came up and that had to be done and we had to get there and then I had to go to bed.....whatever. And I never would call. I never would write. And I loved my Grandma.
So tonight I was looking through the mail and there was a letter from an attorney in Oregon. I was surprised and couldn't figure out what it could possibly be about. Then as I opened it and began reading my eyes passed over the phrase Last Will and Testament. I had this sinking in my stomach. I thought, "Please, oh please tell me you did not leave anything to me." It's such a weird feeling to even think about that kind of stuff after someone has died. And then the hardest thing of all was when I found, at the end of the document, a form I needed to fill out to basically lay claim to my portion. It felt wrong to even fill it out. It felt like I was coming forward and asking for something from my grandma whom I was feeling in debt to relationship-wise.
Anyway. My thoughts.
And I did decide to seize the day. I had a plane ticket to go see her when I found out she had Leukemia and then she died before I was scheduled to fly out. So I kept the same flight and went to see my other grandparents who also live in Oregon and had a lovely time. Visiting, catching up on what is going on in each others lives, looking through photo albums and hearing many stories of their growing up years. It was precious time. Time that I will be forever thankful for, and wish that I would've made happen earlier with my grandma.
I am so grateful for my family. All of them. Parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, 2nd cousins, nieces, nephews, in-laws. They all have a special place in my heart and have played a part in my life experiences that have given me great memories and contributed to who I am today.
Now to figure out how to stay in touch with everyone.....the blog counts, right? Except that they don't all have one. And there's a difference between knowing what's going on and having conversations and getting a great hug. Okay - if you are family and you are reading this, please consider yourself hugged. You are all running through my mind right now. Yes, ALL of you.
I approached the holiday this year with dread.
1. I manage to yell at my children most days.
2. A tired mom mixed with 2 belligerent, exhausted children every morning who have to be out the door by 7:35 (while being quiet enough to not wake the 2 year old) is like mixing baking soda and vinegar - someone's going to explode.
3. There have been weeks this year that I haven't even looked in their backpacks to see what homework has been assigned.
4. More often than not I am looking at the clock as they excitedly tell me every detail of the star wars lego battle they just had upstairs.
5. Amelia has had to hang on my arm and pull on my face while crying "Look at me, Mom!" while I am sending off emails.
Anyway - I have had many moments in the past year where I have fallen in bed and thought, "Nice going. That'll mess them up and leave them needing a psychotherapist when they're older."
So you can understand why I asked Mike to skip it this year. He didn't - being the husband he is, but it was all I could do this morning to accept gifts, a plethora of homemade cards, and songs made up and presented on the spot by Andrew. Even though it warmed my heart, I was still feeling guilt at not doing my best at the most important thing in my life.
A talk in church really helped adjust my perspective. It was a straightforward, no nonsense talk, devoid of anything sappy. He talked about a mother's responsibilities - including taking the necessary time out for ourselves, and to be ever watchful of becoming overwhelmed and discouraged and thinking that we are not doing a great job. It wasn't a feel good talk, it was like he held up my life in front of me and let me see it from an objective person's point of view, and then told me what I could do better. As I type this I realize that he was inspired in his presentation and content, but that the Spirit was obviously involved in creating this experience for me.
So I graciously accepted the flowers and chocolate they handed out afterward, and have felt cheery ever since. (Maybe the chocolate had something to do with that?) I still need to figure out how to once again prioritize my extremely full plate, and also to take out the time needed to rejuvenate myself spiritually and physically. I have been trying to "give" from exhausted reserves for some time now. It doesn't really work that way.
So Happy Mother's Day to myself. I am glad to be able to think that way again. And to everyone else out there who gives of themselves time and time again to those around you - whether they be your children or your neighbors. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it!
At 1:00 am I awoke to SCREAMING (blood curdling and terrifying) coming from Amelia's room. In one motion I leaped from bed and sprinted upstairs and then had a mini blackout as I knelt next to her bed (nice help, huh?!)
She was delirious and was screaming that bugs were everywhere. Her body was on fire, I tell you. When I tried to pull back her covers, she screamed. When I tried to put a cool cloth on her forehead, she screamed. She thought bugs were in her water, on her toast, eating her toes when standing naked in the bathroom with even the rug removed. I can't even describe her terror. It would be comparable to my nightmares I wake up from when someone has thrown huge snakes on me.
Poor girl.
We both pretty much passed out from sheer exhaustion a little after 3.
Yesterday we started off the day way too early at a soccer game and then as Mike and the boys tried to hit a bday party in between soccer games, Amelia and I headed to the E.R. Joys. We've got the flu and had to sit there for Millie to get breathing treatments and a lot of medicine. She was a model patient!
Came home. Slept FOREVER. She and I woke up in time for dinner and then she sat out in the beautiful weather while Jacob read to her. So sweet.
As they kept busy in the front doing this, Andrew had a major league baseball game in the back, in which he played all the characters complete with conversations. Here he demonstrates Babe Ruth.
And after looking at the above pics, I realized how necessary a haircut was and this morning gave Andrew his first haircut by ME! (and then Amelia and I crashed again.)
I wish I could save some of this weather in a bottle and occasionally pull it out in July and August. It truly feels life giving. A cool gentle breeze with the smell of barbeques and blossoms. Mmm.
So I have been extremely busy at the school, more on that later, but good things are happening. As a result of me being so busy though, dinner time often was moved back to 7:30ish, okay - maybe 8 sometimes, and everything was rush rush. Even though a lot of what was causing crowded days was for a good cause, it made for stress in the home and bad habits started forming. We got in a bad cycle of behavior and how I would respond to that behavior. Repeat.
Some of my good girlfriends from law school came out and stayed for a weekend.
(Hi Ronna & Emily!)
Jake's says, "Faith in God & Hard Work: Positive Life Change Award." He has been working really hard on being nicer to Andrew. He decided that he needed to say a prayer every time he thought about hurting Andrew and has remembered to do this. His behavior has changed drastically and has had a noticeable effect on the household. Hooray Jacob!!You know - where you start every entry with "I can't believe how long it's been since I've written. So much has happened!" And then follow that statement with something like...."so we moved last year and I have a new little sister who is now two and I've gotten braces on and am now done with them"....
Anyway, had to document one of my cuties.
Andrew has such a sweet heart. So loving and thoughtful. Below is a picture of something he rigged up right outside my kitchen window so "[I] can look at something beautiful while [I] wash the dishes!"
Here's a closer look. He took a branch that had been recently trimmed off a bush, stuck it in the ground, picked a rose, and affixed it to the center. Voila!
A couple weekends ago we went to a park and had a picnic after the boys' soccer games. While Mike and I laid on our backs, eyes closed, enjoying the sunshine (and discussing how awesome it is that our kids are old enough to watch each other and allow us to relax like this at the park), Andrew was on a mission. He tapped me and told me to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was a huge grin on his face and his shining eyes. Next I beheld his creation. He had scavenged an old water bottle, filled it with water from the ravine, and picked some little crocus-like flowers to put in it. Oh my goodness I love him!
And this is another example of things he just does on a regular basis. It was Saturday. Dad had run to Home Depot. Andrew made him this sign and taped it on the garage door before Dad got back home.
He's here to melt my heart, and he's doing a pretty good job.
I just sent off an email to all teachers, support staff and administration at my boys' school. My heart is racing as I sit here in a weird kind of shock.
There are some major issues at their school that must be resolved and the catalyst for my involvement was the abrupt announcement on Friday of a fifth grade teacher quitting. Word has it that some of our veteran teachers(think 20 - 30 years, some have taught at the school since it opened) are not planning on coming back next year.
What I did on paper is quite harmless. Sent an upbeat survey to everyone asking for their anonymous input on a number of different issues and asking for their suggestions. I so desperately want this information, but am also scared to receive it.
I'm worried that my great relationship with the principal and A.P. may be damaged as some of my concerns lie in the way they have handled some important things.
I am worried that as a result of this "stirring of the pot" the administration may come down harder on the teachers and the teachers (in their minds) will be slapping my hand as I walk down the hall.
At the same time - if a survey asking how the PTA can better support the school in real ways is viewed by the principal as meddling and a threat, then we know how serious the problem is, and all the better to tackle it. Right, my dear?
How did I end up at the front of this?!?
I do want to make a difference. I do love our school. I do love, appreciate, and have deep respect for teachers. (but....)
I fear confrontation. My voice wavers when put in a place where emotions are running high. Any eloquence I may find while pontificating with Mike disappears when talking to a group.
I am terrified, but luckily supported by a large group of others. "Let me know what to do, Cheri, and I'll do it." Huh? Ummm.....does somebody else want to organize? Please? This is most likely going to end up on the Superintendant's doorstep, if not further. (Internal scream.)
I guess I should be thankful that I have a cause in front of me that I feel strongly about, and most likely will be able to make some sort of difference, and have some great friends who are rallying me.
But ughh.
Lately he has started writing notes to Mike and I. When he writes the word "I," he writes it the way he says it..."Iee."The question on everyone's mind is "DID she end up drowning in the filth?!"
Well, it was close. Luckily a Christmas away in Utah to get rejuvenated, and then almost two weeks following with no other responsibilities allowed me to dominate the filth and win! (For probably a week. Sneaky household. I swear there are elves who create dirty laundry while I'm sleeping at night.)
Anyway - time to get going again. Here are some pics from an outing Thanksgiving weekend that we highly enjoyed. Now you can enjoy.
over here and have a to do list that, by necessity, will have to be cut at least in half...but my "kids just [did]the darndest thing" and I must post.
I am babysitting a little three year old boy who has been looking forward to Jake and Andrew's return from school all day. I told the boys to play soccer or football with him for a good half hour before I take him home. I was in the backyard (singlehandedly folding the biggest tarp I have EVER seen) and the boys never came out. I found them in the garage, each with a different treasure from the recycling bin. They were all beating their item and singing Jingle Bells. Jake's comment as I walked out again, "Matthew - you do the beat, Andrew - you do rhythm, and I will do the tempo....."
Then I finished the tarp and walked back in the garage......this is the good part.......
The lights are turned off and Matthew, Jacob, and Amelia are snuggled in my mountain of DIRTY LAUNDRY and Andrew is beating out the soft rhythm of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star while serenading them!
DO I THROW THE KIDS IN THE WASH TOO? DO I RETURN THE BABYSAT CHILD WITH A TAG THAT SAYS "WASH BEFORE EMBRACING?"
Gross. You have no idea what kind of stuff is in my laundry pile. I do. I am sicked out.
has been sick all day. It has been a cold dark day, and I've had one of those weeks that made this forced break heaven on earth. We have snuggled and had lots of quiet time together on the couch. I am now laying here looking into her red rimmed eyes and feeling overwhelmed with the love I feel for her. Such a darling. What will she experience in this life? Who will her friends be? What will her passions be? Who will she become?
Oh, I love her so! I love her soft voice and her obedient heart, the way she says "OH!" with delighted surprise after everything I tell her, the way she presses her nose into mine while laughing so hard....
She wants some "toad miwk" now, so I will go.
